A quick refresher for those of you who might not remember: The first installment of the xXx series, a marriage of extreme sports and action-adventure, came out literally 15 years ago in 2002, while its woefully Vin Diesel-less sequel bombed at the box office in 2005. Apparently, 2017 was the year that screenwriter F. Scott Frazier and director D.J. Caruso decided that the world could not continue turning without the Diesel-powered xXx threequel, xXx: Return of Xander Cage.
It's initially difficult to discern the actual plot of this film, but between satellites falling from the sky, an NSA mission to procure a high-tech gadget, gratuitous island raves, and stunt sequences, it becomes clear that this is just another mind-numbingly unoriginal, effects-laden action flick. Samuel L. Jackson, reprising his role as xXx recruiting agent Augustus Gibbons, sums it up perfectly with this meta quip: "Kick some ass, get the girl, and look dope doing it."
In all fairness, ass was definitely kicked, although not by Vin Diesel. His character of Xander Cage is surrounded by a squad of high-intensity xXx sidekicks of various ethnicities, who feature heavily in the fast-paced, over-the-top fight scenes. The supporting cast are stacked with lesser-known yet quality actors, including martial-arts tour de force Donnie Yen (recently of Rogue One fame, and quite possibly the best part of this entire film), Bollywood staple Deepika Padukone, Orange Is the New Black heartthrob Ruby Rose, hilarious comic relief Nina Dobrev, and Game of Thrones badass Rory McCann. All fine choices for an action movie, but their high level of energy leaves bulky Vin Diesel looking tired as he ambles along in their wake, while the audience wonders why he -- or anyone else -- even bothered bringing this franchise back to life in the first place.