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Seen today, it's hard to believe that The Private Lives of Adam and Eve so provoked the Legion of Decency that it gave it the dreaded "condemned" rating, as its religious "sins" are minor and harmless. Perhaps the Legion actually issued the rating at the request of the MPAA, which might legitimately have feared that if too many people saw Adam, they might give up on movies altogether. Adam might be called inane and mindless entertainment if it had any real entertainment value beyond that derived from derisive laughter at the director, writer, and cast's expense. Instead, it's better to simply call it dumb and witless. To be fair, the opening 15 minutes are not that bad; they're not brilliant, but they're certainly acceptable. But once the dream starts, things rapidly go to hell. The screenplay is simply ridiculous, filled with the kind of childish leering that is identified with the lesser sex comedies of the period; it's offensive, but because of its mindset, not its content. The most that can be said for the directors is that they have succeeded in keeping the actors mostly in the frame, something that the actors may not always thank them for. The production values are minimal, with Mickey Rooney's devil suit and snake outfit particularly lame. Rooney's acting is embarrassing, Mamie van Doren concentrates on posing and displaying, and Martin Milner is annoying and dorky. There's some fun to be had from laughing at The Private Lives of Adam and Eve, but not enough to justify actually watching the thing.