A razor-thin story is the excuse to shoot some pretty lame sword fights in some pretty cheesy period costumes under some very sunny Southern California skies. Nothing passes for realistic in this amateurish production, despite the presences of Eric Roberts, Ron Perlman, and Lesley-Anne Down, each of whom get to chew on the worst Tudor dialogue this side of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (or should that be Robin Hood: Men in Tights?). One of the biggest culprits in the downfall of The King's Guard is the cinematography; it seems the woefully low budget didn't allow for a second camera lens, as everything is shot from medium distance, from the awkwardly staged action scenes to the sterile romantic interludes. It is visually monotonous, not to mention ridiculously plotted. Another mistake was tacking on after the closing credits a long patch of outtakes consisting mostly of flubbed lines. Actually, those outtakes are the best part of the movie.