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Of all the aging '80s action stars who have stooped to the world of straight-to-DVD, Steven Seagal has remained a consistent force while starring in numerous brainless bombs that still manage to deliver the bone-crunching goods. 2005's Submerged is easily one of the most entertaining of the bunch, which is by no means an indication of its cinematic quality. Directed by Waxwork creator Anthony Hickox, this better-than-average actioner clumsily blends The Manchurian Candidate with The Dirty Dozen and goes so far as to hand the soft-spoken Seagal a New Orleans accent! If you're not sold yet, add U.K. tough guy Vinnie Jones into the mix and then blend the whole thing with a pair of editors with criminal cases of ADD. In fact, the movie might as well be crowned as the unnecessary editing champion of the mundane. For example, an elevator door closing can't just close, but has to be spiced up with at least three jump cuts that all appear with a thunderous sound effect. The result is a kind of maddening hilarity that borderlines on insane, especially when the cuts escalate as the movie speeds toward its operatic climax. Even so, the manic editing, as well as the priceless dialogue ("There's some sick sh*t in here, alligator!") and the absurd plot all add up to make a fun, if not foolish, time at the movies. Those who bother to watch will probably get exactly what they came for, while those who expected more should probably look elsewhere for their serious action fix.