Even though it's a scant 75 minutes long, this lame horror spoof includes so few jokes, decent or otherwise, that the screenplay must telegraph each one at least a minute ahead of time and then let it linger like an unpleasant odor. Real-life husband and wife Richard Benjamin and Paula Prentiss try to utilize something approaching comic timing, but there's too little actual comedy for them really to accomplish much. Prentiss has some fun with a nagging case of vampirism, but Benjamin just keeps cheesing away, hoping his character will get something to do. Meanwhile, perennial character actor Jeffrey Tambor has to skulk around in a cheap vampire getup, his satirical bloodsucker nowhere near as much fun as Ferdinand Mayne's Count Von Krolock from Roman Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Killers. Although its title would seem to suggest a send-up of slasher flicks, the film actually takes most of its swipes from Dracula, Jaws, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, Scanners, and The Birds -- with a healthy dose of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein for good measure. The supposed special effects are a step below what one would find in a supermarket's seasonal Halloween-costume aisle, while the biggest laughs come from the bubbles permanently glued to teen actress Kari Michaelsen's chest during a bathtub scene. Both cheesy and boring, Saturday the 14th simply underwhelms.