A sort of low-rent, less rainy My Own Private Idaho, with bits of Looking for Mr. Goodbar thrown in for good measure, johns features some nice moments, but fails to transcend its jumbled script and uneven tone. Unsure whether it wants to be a cautionary fable, an outlaw romance, or a loopy comedy, the film drifts from one mode to the next with little warning. David Arquette gives a brave performance as John, the hustler with an aspirational vocabulary and a birthday gleam in his eye, but Lukas Haas doesn't get much to do in the role of John's sidekick except emote with his puppy-dog eyes and act all sensitive. As for the many supporting players, old pro Elliott Gould has fun with a satirical role as a bossy, closeted client, but many of the youngsters, from Wilson Cruz as an effete rent boy to Alanna Ubach as John's long-suffering girlfriend, don't have the depth of experience to wring much out of their underwritten roles. The real problem, though, is the script, from first-time writer/director Scott Silver, who tries to have it every which way and fails. This is the sort of film whose idea of irony is giving multiple characters the same double-entendre name; too impressed with its own hipster street hustle, the script simply comes off as self-satisfied. Individual moments, particularly those involving violent customers, are so gripping that Silver's talent is obvious. But he simply doesn't know how to tie it all together. Say what you will about Gus Van Sant's self-indulgence, but at least he knows how to juxtapose quirky humor and heartfelt pathos with some degree of subtle success. The jumbled johns doesn't even come close.