Cast
General Washington / The President (voice) / General Washington/The President
Harry Bottoms / Guy Kirk / Narrator (voice) / Harry Bottoms/Guy Kirk/Narrator
Lumberjack (voice) / Lumberjack
Donkey Dixon / Donkey Dixon (voice) (as Isaac Singleton Jr.)
Self [Motley Crue] (voice) / Motley Crüe
Self [Mötley Crüe] (voice) / Motley Crüe
Jean-Paul Bidet / B-M Man (voice) / Jean-Paul Bidet/B-M Man
Hanukah Jonze (voice) / Hanukah Jonze
Sandy Mellons / Kid on Lava (voice) / Sandy Mellons/Kid on Lava/Timmy Tittlebaum/Alien Baby/Alien Mom/Alien Dad
Old Tornado Woman/V.D.'s Sister/Killer BM Man/Moron #1
V.D. Johnson / Astronomer (voice) / V.D. Johnson/Astronomer/Dr. Wang Chung
Mountain Climber/Times Square Crowd/Dying Moron #1/ASSA Crowd
Kid on Lava Rock/White House Reporter/ASSA Crowd
Scientist #1/Search and Rescue Co-Pilot/Pizza Maker
Scientist #2/V.D.'s Step Dad/Robot Arm Scientist #1
Mom on Lava Rock/Grandma on Lava Rock/White House Reporter
ASSA Technician/White House Announcer
Times Square Crowd/Space Toilet Sounds/ASSA Crowd
Pizza Parlor Cry Baby/Ruffy/Fart Wrangler
Muffy/Mitzi/Bulimia Contest Announcer/Alien Invader Voice
Porn Actress/Kathy Reynolds
Dr. Steven Mocking/Chip Chatsworth
Rocket Sled Training Scientist/Robot Arm Scientist #2/ASSA Crowd
Sister on Lava Rock/White House Reporter/Screamer in Times Square/ASSA Crowd
Female Scientist/ASSA Crowd
Scientist #3/Press Secretary/German Psychologist
Times Square Crowd/Dying Moron #2/ASSA Crowd
White House Reporter/ASSA Crowd
Helicopter Victim/Carrier Crew/African Newscaster
