How badly does a film have to fail, on virtually every level, before its complete lack of structural integrity causes it to collapse in on itself, consuming everything onscreen and causing a refund riot at the ticket booth? Editor-turned-director Camille Delamarre probes this age-old question in his feature debut Brick Mansions, a Detroit-set remake of the 2004 French action flick District B13 that stars the late Paul Walker in his penultimate movie role.
Cartoonishly implausible, laughably inept, and featuring some of the most atrocious dubbing since the golden age of chop-socky, it's an incomprehensible mess of a film with the sole saving grace that it never takes itself even remotely seriously -- although there's no guarantee audiences will consider that a reason to forgive the movie.
In the year 2018, an impenetrable wall has been built around Detroit's inner city, and the most dangerous criminals now occupy the treacherous, heavily guarded quadrant known as Brick Mansions. Once you're inside, you never get out. Lino (David Belle) is an ex-con who's trying to make the best of life in this urban penitentiary when his girlfriend Lola (Catalina Denis) is abducted by ruthless drug lord Tremaine (RZA). Meanwhile, undercover cop Damien Collier (Paul Walker) is determined to bring Tremaine to justice for the murder of his father. The situation turns critical when the mayor claims that Tremaine has hijacked a government transport vehicle carrying a neutron bomb, which is now set to blow in just ten hours. In order to get inside Brick Mansions and find his way to Tremaine, Collier is forced to team up with Lino, who was arrested for killing a cop and is determined to rescue Lola at all costs. Despite their differences, Lino and Collier are the only men capable of entering the city and defeating Tremaine's gang. With the clock ticking, this unlikely duo must prevent Detroit from being completely decimated by a maniac who's threatening to launch the bomb into the city's most populated area unless he receives a 30-million-dollar ransom.
Once upon a time, Luc Besson was one of the most respected names in action cinema. But it's been two decades since Leon so lovingly tended to his precious houseplants, and they seem to have withered right along with Besson's inspiration. Seemingly plugging his original script for District B13 into an English translation program and updating a few key character names, Besson takes on the role of writer and producer here. His screenplay is constructed on a shaky foundation of action clichés, and the fallen visionary seems content to rest easy behind the scenes while his young protégé proves that he's even worse at directing than he is at editing. Visually, Brick Mansions is a complete mess; it looks like it was directed by a 14-year-old boy who forgot his ADHD meds, and edited by an epileptic chimp with a pair of garden shears. Yet incredibly -- perhaps due in part to Delamarre's youthful enthusiasm -- this reckless incompetence and lack of experience somehow manage to transcend their negative trappings and gradually morph into something resembling a live-action Looney Tunes flick, to the point where one villain gets cracked over the head with a concrete block to the sound of birds chirping on the soundtrack.
It would hardly have been a surprise if Delamarre had chosen to actually animate birds flapping around the KO'ed baddy's cracked cranium during that scene. But while he may not display restraint anywhere else in the film, he at least holds back in this moment. Still, that audio clue alone should be enough to tell audiences what they should expect here, and despite the fact that the frantic direction and editing continually obscure Belle's impressive physical feats, his pairing with Walker does yield some occasional laughs as the late action star stares slack-jawed at his partner's superhuman agility. Likewise, as the film's main villain, RZA displays an impressive amount of restraint and a memorable dash of humor -- even going as far as to please fans by firing off an expertly timed Wu-Tang quote during one of his character's key scenes.
If all of this sounds to you like a good time at the movies, then by all means load up on popcorn and settle in for 90 minutes of frenetic fun. Should you manage to overlook the film's contemporary action trappings, embrace its tropes, and take the harebrained social commentary with a grain of salt, you may not realize that you've cracked your tooth on a kernel until you get back to your car.