Double-gun action, jumping robots, and witty quips do not make an Isaac Asimov adaptation -- that is, unless you have America's favorite action funnyman Will Smith in the lead and a mega-Hollywood budget behind it. In fact, just to get it out of the way, the movie wasn't even based on the original stories at all, but on a spec script by Jeff Vintar that just so happened to have shared elements of Asimov's world. Okay, so the movie isn't hardcore sci-fi and it manages to take a bunch of liberties with the premise, but is it any good? The answer is a resounding NO. I, Robot is a dummied up version of what executives think audiences will want to see that includes everything from Matrix-like action to the lead star brooding it up, but always ready with a joke at the beginning, middle, or end of a scene. Thanks to Akiva Goldsman, the story was given a sci-fi "lite" treatment that undercuts the challenging themes and presents the star with a vehicle in which he can pull virtually the same shenanigans that his successful career has ridden on since his first hit. Sure, Smith shows slightly more range in the film, but it's hard to take the character seriously when he is so obviously trumped up with layers of back stories that never go anywhere. What happened with his ex-wife? How come the audience is hit over the head with the fact that his character sleeps with his huge future gun? And, of course, Will Smith just has to be Mr. Family Man in the flick, so cue a worthless grandmother character for him to visit and throw in a young friend (Shia LaBeouf) whose potty-mouth Big Willy just has to correct -- all the while garnering the biggest laugh of the movie while swearing his own fool mouth off! Yep, that Will Smith is sure a role model, he must have had it written in his contract. The rest of the cast does not fare too well either, with Bridget Moynahan looking stiffer than any of the effects, while Bruce Greenwood ends up staring out his corporate windows for the entirety of the film. Praise goes to Alan Tudyk as the voice and character reference for the star special effect Sonny the Robot, though he's mainly just a vessel for the hyped-up graphics whose facial animations are two steps away from the clunky Reboot TV series. With unnecessary and downright dizzying effects ruling the big finale, I, Robot resigns itself to be simply a sci-fi Rambo action fiesta just before it slows down enough to spew out ham-fisted references to the environment, racism, and even the Patriot Act. The saddest thing about all of this is that director Alex Proyas (Dark City) really showed some remarkable skill in past genre effects, but was obviously just a cog in the machine on this confused mess.