AllMovie

S*P*Y*S is a dull, dull, dull mess of a movie. Intended as a spoof of serious spy movies, and filmed at a time of social cynicism and in which cinematic comedy tended to be a bit "looser," S*P*Y*S wanted to be a hip, more knowing version of Get Smart. Unfortunately, it turns out to be merely a waste of time and talent. The biggest culprit, of course, is the screenplay, which is convoluted, unfocused, and -- most damagingly -- unfunny. The jokes are lame, the set-ups amateurish, the pay-offs practically non-existent. After the first fifteen or twenty minutes, most viewers will be glancing at their watches and wondering when it will ever end. Things are not helped by Irvin Kershner's non-direction, about as poor a job of trying to capture comedy onscreen as one can imagine. Kershner ruins the few decent attempts at situational humor in the film, noticeably in the restaurant scene when he doesn't put enough focus on Donald Sutherland's reaction to some nerve gas -- which should be the reason the scene exists. Sutherland and Elliott Gould come off poorly, despite their talent and chemistry. The material is simply too bad, and neither actor has the kind of star persona that can overcome this challenge. Those asterisks in the title are, of course, meant to evoke memories of the stars' earlier M*A*S*H -- but viewers are advised to skip this one and go with the Altman classic instead.