Please Don't Eat My Mother (1973)

Genres - Comedy, Horror  |   Sub-Genres - Horror Comedy, Natural Horror  |   Run Time - 98 min.  |   Countries - United States  |   MPAA Rating - NR
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Review by Fred Beldin

Rubber-faced goon lead Buck Kartalian (a former pro wrestler with supporting roles in Mister Roberts, Cool Hand Luke, and Planet of the Apes to his credit) is hapless Henry Fudd in this adults-only remake of Little Shop of Horrors. Fudd spends his lunch hours happily gnawing sandwiches and getting daily eyefuls of live porn at the local lovers' lane, fueling his sexual frustration and desire for love. The lonely nebbish buys an unwanted plant from a gay florist when he hears it whisper sweet nothings to him in a sexy female voice, bringing it back to the house he shares with his nagging mother. However, this carnivorous plant's demand for food increases as Fudd provides it (her?) with hamburgers, stray dogs, and eventually, mom herself. The flirtatious flora's teasing overcomes Fudd's good sense, and he finds himself abducting various fornicating couples at gunpoint to feed his hungry plant, which has grown to gargantuan proportions and develops an appetite for a mate as well as daily meals. There's plenty of near-hardcore sex to be seen in this no-budget comedy that played under several different titles (including Glump!, Sexpot Swingers, and Hungry Pets), but Please Don't Eat My Mother is fairly balanced between skin and laughs, even if the film doesn't go all the way with either. Kartalian is believable as a dimwitted, middle-aged mama's boy; cult porn starlet Rene Bond is among the victims of the plant's voraciousness; and director Carl Monson can't resist making an appearance as a Peter Falk impersonator ("Officer O'Columbus"). Please Don't Eat My Mother is one of the more peculiar softcore parodies to come out of the early '70s, just strange enough to be worth seeing, even if willful stupidity is its only virtue.