Synopsis by Mark Deming
The myriad obsessions of a handful of hopeless geeks go under the microscope in this comic mockumentary. At the age of 12, Shawn Anderson (Sean Anders) began collecting frozen food; a little over a decade later, he has over 900 rare entrées in his collection, and works as a dental hygienist to pay for the 14 freezers needed to keep his stash in pristine "never been thawed" condition. Shawn is the president of the Mesa Frozen Entrées Enthusiasts Club, and is attempting to organize the first national convention for frozen-food buffs while trying to keep his collection one step ahead of arch-rival Vince (Mike Gordon). Shawn also leads a punk-rock band, who recently embraced a Christian stance when he discovered that born-again teens were a more lucrative market than crusty punks. One of Shawn's biggest fans is Shelly (Shelly Frasier), a cute but dorky Christian girl who works as a counselor on an abstinence hotline and has joined the frozen entrée club to be near Shawn. Shawn likes Shelly, but is put off by her "wait until marriage" principles. Al (Allen Zwolle), Shawn's bass player, also has a crush on Shelly, and hangs with the club to spend time with her, but isn't so sure about the band's new Christian image, or his job as a combination clown/barber. Meanwhile, Milo (John Angelo), the band's manager, plans ways to propel them to Christian stardom while operating an anti-abortion coffeehouse, the No Choice Café. Never Been Thawed was the first feature film for writer and director Sean Anders, who also played the leading role and helped write the film's music.