Caroline (Catherine Lloyd Burns) has sent Lois (Jane Kaczmarek) another flyer about Krelboyne activities. This time, it's a square dance. "This class is turning me into a total weirdo," complains Malcolm (Frankie Muniz). Malcolm is planning to ditch to avoid public humiliation, but Hal (Bryan Cranston) offers to drive the boys to school. Malcolm reluctantly gets into the car, only to learn that Hal has decided that the four of them will all ditch today, in order to indulge in what Hal considers a rite of passage for his boys -- a trip to the stock car races. "We're rebels! We're wild men!" he tells them. While Hal is beside himself with excitement, the boys quickly grow bored watching the cars circle the track. A trip to the refreshment stand ends badly when Reese (Justin Berfield) and Malcolm lose track of Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan). In their search, they feel compelled to enter a restricted area, which gets them in hot water with the track security guard (Joel McKinnon Miller). Back at home, Lois frantically searches for a missing paycheck, uncovering evidence of the boys' many misdeeds, and Hal's, too. Caroline stops by to let her know that Malcolm's been ditching school, assuring that there will be hell to pay when the gang gets home. Meanwhile, at the military academy, Francis' (Christopher Kennedy Masterson) new contraband pet snake has an encounter with Commandant Spangler's (Daniel Von Bargen) vicious little terrier. Two pets enter; one pet leaves.