Kiss My Blood (1997)

Countries - United States   |   MPAA Rating - NR
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David Jazay directed this slick German vampire film, which is loaded with pretty women, nudity, and gore (as well as some fairly unusual techno music) but fails to deliver the requisite bite. Sexy Anya Fischer stars as Celina, a 691-year old vampire who falls in love with a battered housewife named Jane (Nadja Rieger). Jane has been married to her abusive husband John for three years, and when they advertise for a boarder, Celina answers their ad. After Celina "liberates" her from John, Jane is fascinated with the vampiric lifestyle and decides she wants to be one of the undead as well, but Celina wants to make sure Jane really knows what she's getting in for, so she takes the curious hausfrau on a tour of her world. That world mainly seems to consist of tacky discos, but it enthralls Jane nonetheless. Trouble looms on the horizon in the form of an obsessive vampire hunter called The Inspector, played by Transylvanian-born actor Thomas Haydn. The Inspector has a Blade-like stake-shooter and is assisted by a small but dedicated group of associate vampire hunters. The film quickly turns silly as the lovestruck lesbian vampires are chased hither and yon (even through a Black Mass) by the single-minded hunters, and genre fans might wish they had watched the far more entertaining Razor Blade Smile again instead. It's not a terrible film by any means, but seems to want to be far too hip for its own good and commits the cardinal sin of many failed horror films by taking a condescending tone with its own genre. Stella Sander, Benno Furmann, and Jock Bruno co-star.