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In the cold open, the Griffins watch a sitcom called "Sherry and the Anus." Later, the family goes to visit Brown University (Brian's [voice of Seth MacFarlane] alma mater), where Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) talks to the dean about admission. The only extracurricular activity she's involved in is the Luke Perry Fan Club. "I don't have a future," she complains. She decides to try to work for the high school paper. The editor tells her that he'll hire her if she can get an interview with Quahog's mayor, Adam West (voice of Adam West). Meg tenaciously scores the interview, where she learns that the batty mayor believes someone is "stealing" his water, and is using taxpayer money to investigate. She writes up an exposé and leaves it on the editor's desk, but Peter (MacFarlane) believing that political scandals are old hat, decides to write something flashier, and sneaks into the school to replace Meg's story with his. Meg returns to school to hear the accolades of her peers, which pleases her, until she sees the paper's headline -- "Luke Perry is Gay." When Perry himself sees the article ("I'm just going through every high school newspaper in the country to see if there's anything about me," he tells his wife), he decides to sue. Peter feels responsible, and decides that the solution is to seduce Perry and get photos of them together. He succeeds in getting a photo of Luke Perry vomiting. Stewie (MacFarlane), meanwhile, gets thrown out of Brown's chem. lab. Fed up with being small, he invents a mind control device, so that he can harness Chris' (voice of Seth Green) size, and immediately sets about trying to get Chris to murder Lois (voice of Alex Borstein).