Synopsis by Josh Ralske
It's Opening Day for the Boston Red Sox, so Peter (voice of Seth MacFarlane) decides to keep the kids out of school and take them to Fenway. He calls in sick to work, telling Mr. Weed (voice of Carlos Alazraqui), "I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable. See you tomorrow." Later, he runs into Mr. Weed at the ballpark, and expects to be fired, but the next day, the El Dorado Cigarette Company buys out the toy company, and Weed loses his job. The cigarette guys turn out to be poodle-shooting evil madmen who are using toys to get children addicted to their cigarettes. When Peter brings home a "Baby Smokes-A-Lot," Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) expresses her disapproval. When Peter confronts his new bosses, they make him president of the company to keep him quiet. Peter gets an executive parking space and his own personal yes man. The company hires an ugly girl to hang out with Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) at school, so she'll look prettier by comparison. They even hire Martha Stewart to help Lois out around the house. Lois is so enamored of all the perks that she forgets about her moral qualms. When an anti-smoking bill comes before Congress, a tobacco exec suggests, "They're all idiots in Washington. Instead of a smart guy, we should send a moron they can relate to." Thus, Peter becomes a tobacco industry lobbyist. Alyssa Milano makes an appearance in this episode, with the episode's writer, Ricky Blitt, playing her attorney. There's also a parody of the theme from That Girl, and Jack Sheldon, who worked on the original Schoolhouse Rock shorts, plays the bill.