Synopsis by Josh Ralske
Peter (voice of Seth MacFarlane) takes great pride in being better than Chris (voice of Seth Green) at everything. He ignores Meg's (voice of Mila Kunis) dinner table announcement that she's joined the flag girls at school because he's too busy proving he can stick more silverware to his face than his son can. Stewie (MacFarlane) responds to Meg's announcement with a withering, "Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call." Meg is proud to be a flag girl, until a group of popular kids, led by cheerleader Connie (voice of Fairuza Balk), pelts her with rotten meat during a football game. Peter is so determined to maintain his victorious record over Chris that he shouts out, "Your mother and I are getting a divorce!" as Chris goes up for a critical shot in their basketball game. But during their post-game steam, Peter gets a good look at his son, and realizes, to his horror, that Chris is enormously well-endowed. Peter is bitter and resentful, and tries to compensate by buying a long red sports car and joining the local gun club. But on a father-son hunting expedition that goes awry, Peter learns a valuable lesson. Meanwhile, Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) helps Meg plot revenge against Connie and her pals. This episode features the vocal talents of Patrick Duffy. The musical number Stewie performs to demonstrate his "cool," is a note-for-note reenactment of William Shatner's notorious television performance of Elton John's "Rocket Man."