Synopsis by Robert Firsching
Don't Go Near the Park begins in a cave 12,000 years ago, where an old crone with phony rubber hands curses her sinful children, Gar and Tre (Crackers Phinn, Barbara Monker). They will age ten years for every year of life and never die. To appear youthful, they must kill people by ripping their stomachs open and eating their guts. To end the curse, Gar must marry a woman and produce a virgin girl who will be sacrificed at age 16. The next segment follows Gar (now named Mark) as he hypnotizes his landlady (a young Linnea Quigley) into bearing him a child, Bondi. On her 16th birthday, Bondi is upset by her parents' fighting and runs away to Griffith Park, blowing up a van full of rapists along the way. In the park, supposedly cursed by the "demons of Los Feliz," Bondi is taken in by Patty, who is actually Tre in disguise. Patty lives in an abandoned ranch house with two other runaways. Cowboy (Chris Riley) is a handsome teen who shows Bondi his child-abuse scars and falls in love with her, while Nick is a sassy eight-year-old played by Voyager from the Unknown's Meeno Peluce, first seen as he tries to fondle Bondi in her sleep. Aldo Ray plays a writer named Taft who tells Nick about the park's curse, leading the three kids to try an escape. They end up in a corpse-filled cave, where Mark tries to rape Bondi until Patty hits him on the head with a rock. The witchy siblings shoot lasers out of their eyes at each other, then Bondi turns into their mother and causes all the corpses to come alive, devouring them. Reverting to her normal form, Bondi helps Nick and Cowboy escape the cave, but rips Nick's stomach open on a playground slide in a predictable "shock ending." Director Lawrence D. Foldes and co-screenwriter Linwood Chase appear as two of the van rapists, and their fiery demise at least provides some measure of revenge for the audience.
brother, cannibal, cult, curse, human-sacrifice, mother, satanic, sister, undead, voodoo, witch-doctor, zombie