Die Spalte (1995)

Genres - Comedy  |   Sub-Genres - Black Comedy  |   Run Time - 80 min.  |   Countries - Germany  |  
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This trashy German comedy is only for those adventurous few who find humor in the basest bodily functions, graphic violence, and degrading sex. The free-form story is set somewhere in Africa where an unhinged UN general is seen playing S&M games with his athletically handsome, but pea-brained body-building coach. One day his bride, an aging virgin, "miraculously" gives birth to a black child and names him Peter Panne. A deposed, radical bishop who desires to overthrow the Vatican comes around and hails the babe as the Messiah. Simultaneously, the local despot conspires to kill the US president via special rockets powered by burning human sacrifices. The bishop is playing with the child, when the baby gets a marble stuck up its nose. During the resulting surgery, the doctor screws up, leaving the boy horribly disfigured; five years after the surgery, he has but a gaping, mucous spewing slit where his nose should have been. Whenever the lad gets excited, copious amounts of slime come gushing from his face. Naturally, he is a very excitable boy, and unfortunately, his frequently naked mother ends up being his human handkerchief. Still his mother really loves Peter and wholeheartedly believes that he is the true Messiah, so when he grows up she has sex with him and becomes his bride after they crash land in a rocket that destroys the White House.



bishop, disfigurement, Messiah, mother, United-Nations, Vatican, Africa