Computer Beach Party (1987)

Genres - Action, Comedy  |   Run Time - 97 min.  |   Countries - United States   |  
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Review by Fred Beldin

As moronic as the title might suggest, Computer Beach Party tries to make two pampered, self-centered sail buggy enthusiasts into heroes as they attempt to monopolize a public beach for their own use. Forget about the silly, incoherent plot point about the mayor buying up land to search for gold; these two characters would be out in the middle of the night smashing lifeguard stands with a tow truck no matter what rationalization they had to come up with. When seeing the beach free of man-made structures, Dennis exclaims that it's "the way God meant this place to be," then they proceed to tear up the sand with their wind-driven machines and throw drunken beach bashes that leave the surf littered with kegs and plastic cups. The sense of entitlement that the two protagonists display is pervasive throughout the film, even as they fight "the establishment" and decide their best chance of getting revenge is through cheating during a sail buggy race. Even without the weak moral center of the main characters, Computer Beach Party has an amateurish cast, a cardboard story with major holes, and no humor. As the mayor's daughter, Stacey Nemour wins as worst performer, with a vapid non-presence that negates the ample physical charms that likely landed her the role. The film's two beach party sequences feature a wretched hair metal band called Panther that also provides incidental music for the soundtrack, and their desperate prancing and painful clich├ęs offer the only possible laughs in this entirely unfunny low-budget comedy. Computer Beach Party has earned its obscurity, and should be avoided at all costs.