This bizarre misfire makes a botched attempt to transform stand-up "prop comic" Carrot Top (real name Scott Thompson) into a viable big-screen star. The on-stage world of the red-haired comedian involves juvenile visual gags -- primarily goofball "inventions" supposedly cooked up by the entertainer. That concept is a mighty thin one on which to rest a feature-length plot, so director Alex Zamm fills the frame and running time with faux-zany business stolen straight from the Paul Reubens school of humor. This wears thin by the end of act one, so Zamm also tosses into the stew of a script a twist or two seemingly inspired by (get this) Melvin and Howard (1980). It's all for naught, as Carrot Top's bored co-stars, including Jack Warden and Courtney Thorne-Smith, make no discernible effort to appear even amused by the star's jejune hysteria. Only Larry Miller, a fellow comic, makes the most of his sleazy, unctuous executive villain part, a role he's perfected in other, better films such as the Nutty Professor remakes. Rated PG-13 for its coarse humor, though it's clearly a film best suited for pre-teens, Chairman of the Board (1998) is an ill-conceived and poorly executed mess, torturous to sit through, and two hours of your life you'll never get back.