Minor cult figure and convention habitué Conrad Brooks (Plan 9 From Outer Space) produced, directed, and starred in this ultra-obscure horror-comedy hurriedly shot on video in California. The film's ten-day shooting schedule should not be considered an excuse for its extremely poor quality, as even Ed Wood -- the man responsible for Brooks' career and the object of this film's straight-faced dedication -- made better movies in less time. Brooks plays Monk, the mute assistant to a century-old vampire (Jennifer Knight) who stalks the lowlife of Hollywood along with her servant, a vampiric zombie werewolf named Antonio (screenwriter Don Miller). The trio is pursued by a British police inspector (Michael Hooker), but the chase is really just an excuse for a collection of in-jokes and peculiar homages to various cult favorites. Hooker forgets his lines quite often, the film was seemingly edited on a 1980s-era VCR, and the annoying synthesized score appears to be the work of someone repeatedly punching a stray tomcat to make it yowl at various frequencies. Annette Perez co-stars, and there is an inexplicable cameo by Joe Estevez, who could possibly be said to be slumming for the first time in his career.