(2005)
2
Jeremy Wheeler
If horror remakes are all about money, then why didn't someone audit the jerks that greenlit this bland genre outing? Nevermind the stupidity of remaking the John Carpenter spook show, there's something seriously wrong with how much cash was wasted on this production. From the idea-men's fat paychecks to the script-scribbler and all the way to the music video director, 2005's The Fog is a lousy scare flick that has all the ingredients of a trash can sandwich. The movie is just not scary. Replacing practical lighting with eerie scare tactics is a budget-friendly, computer-generated fog, which is apparently why the story was "updated" to begin with. Featuring an unbelievably horrible and ill-conceived ending that goes down in horrible horror movie history books as one of the worst, the movie goes from a slow-burning bore-fest to total bonkers in record time, all before the eyes of poorly cast, but oh-so-cute Superman boy-toy Tom Welling. The twist not only contradicts the plot, but the near 100-minutes wasted up until that point. Casting for the rest of the picture is just as bad, as is the dreadful use of blaring pop music that will do more than date this film years down the road. After all the years of trying to get the remake off the ground, this rush job is a poor tribute to producer Debra Hill, whose previous involvement was the main reason why John Carpenter signed off on it after her untimely death. The real disappointment is the famed director's participation, which apparently didn't amount to much.
Trailer
cast-crew for The Fog on AllMovie
The Fog (2005)
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