There was never any possibility that Santa with Muscles would be a good film, but that doesn't mean it has to be as dreadfully dull as it is. The vapid title would seem to be a warning that the creators are not going to expend any more energy or imagination than they are absolutely forced to. There's nothing fresh here, nothing original, nothing to entice the viewer to stay awake. The only thing of any interest is how the film ever actually got made; it's the sort of project that should have been stopped dead in its tracks by any number of executives or sub-executives or even a gofer. Somehow, though, it got the green light, and the result is a film to avoid. Mind you, it's not that Muscles is the absolute worst film ever made; it's not something of Plan 9 from Outer Space dimensions. Instead, it's dull, dreary and enervating, lacking any personality of life. The most that can be said for it is that Hulk Hogan does try, although his acting ability and comedic talents are far too meager to allow his efforts to count for much. Still, he does try, which is more than can be said for director John Murlowski or the trio of screenwriters. 10-year-old boys, especially those who are already Hogan fans, might find enough here to keep them occupied; others should just forget it.
by Craig Butler review