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Ralph is coerced into essaying the leading role in a money-raising stage production put on by the Ladies' Auxiliary of the Raccoons. His ego expanding to the size of his waistline, Ralph is certain that he will score a hit and be whisked off to Broadway or even Hollywood -- until he learns that he will be acting opposite the redoubtable Ed Norton. Driven crazy by Norton's miscues and eccentric improvisations, Ralph nonetheless puts on a grand show -- only to discover that the true star of the proceedings is his wife Alice, who is offered a contract by celebrated Hollywood producer Herbert J. Whiteside (Alexander Clark). Best verbal bit: The "string of poloponies." Written by Leonard Stern and Sydney Zelinka, "On Stage" originally aired on April 28, 1956.