Synopsis by Hal Erickson
Only the aristocratic Charles Winchester (David Ogden Stiers) would disdain pen and paper to write a letter home to his parents, choosing instead to tape-record his message. Hoping that his influential family will pull strings to get him transferred, Charles bitterly describes the 4077th as a "cesspool", prompting retaliatory action from Hawkeye (Alan Alda) and B.J. (Mike Farrell). Hawkeye in particular needs to let off some steam: He has spent several fruitless days trying to arrange a romantic rendezvous in Seoul.