Synopsis by Josh Ralske
Malcolm (Frankie Muniz) explains that when he's in school, he's either "bored, terrified, or confused about Julie" (Landry Allbright). Malcolm likes Julie, but can't read whatever signals she might be sending him. A simple "hello" sends him into whirlwind of hormonal confusion. At the Lucky Aide, Reese (Justin Berfield) and Malcolm get into trouble with the foaming action steam cleaner while waiting for Lois (Jane Kaczmarek) to get off work. Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan), feeling left out, consoles himself by stealing an expensive bottle of cognac from the store. At home later, when Dewey's thievery is discovered, Lois insists that they go right back to the store and explain what happened to her obnoxious boss, Mr. Pinter (Marc Vann). Things aren't quite resolved, though, as Pinter fires Lois, and she responds by ripping off his toupee. She hands it to the forlorn Craig (David Anthony Higgins) on her way out, deadpanning, "Velcro. I win the pool." Lois stands her ground, refusing to apologize to Pinter. The family is forced to scrimp and save to make up for the lost income, and Malcolm faces horrifying humiliation when Julie organizes a food drive for his family. Meanwhile, at military school, Francis (Christopher Kennedy Masterson) lands a plum gig helping out at the local Miss Mobile Teen Sensation pageant. He's so kind and thoughtful to all the Southern belles that they assume he's gay, a situation he tries to turn to his advantage.