"Dense Libido Gone Wet & Wild" should have been the title to Into the Blue, a titillating and ridiculously stupid picture aimed directly at the hormones of the guys and gals in the back row of the theater. There's no secret to the filmmakers' methodology -- Jessica Alba needed to add a bikini movie to her resumé, while Paul Walker is the obvious hunky choice for the ultimate dude character. Their pairing is bootleg-thespian heaven, as each try and wrap their no-talent chops around line after line of forced dialogue bliss, thus giving endless added layers of guilty entertainment to the overly long and thoroughly troubled picture. For starters, the script is filled with absurd motivations that render every character into a blubbering fool at one point or another. Never mind that the two leads are given zero chances to steam up the screen. In fact, Paul Walker gives more noogies, headlocks, and repeated tackles to supporting actor Scott Caan than he does lip smacks to Alba -- heck, the two boys are even given a heart-to-heart in front of a sunset, no less! To its credit, the underwater photography is top-notch, and yes, those are real sharks swimming with the actors, but the sad fact is that the awe runs dry by the time the finale rolls around. Into the Blue might be fun for the dreadful acting and gorgeous locales, but it's mostly regarded as a waste of cinematic time otherwise.
by Jeremy Wheeler review