Synopsis by Josh Ralske
This episode is told completely through flashbacks, as Chris (Chris Elliott) writes in his diary about his encounter with three construction workers, Dick (Ritch Brinkley), Ray (Mickey Jones), and Don (Pete Spellos), who do some work on his parents' kitchen. For some unexplained reason, Chris has always been obsessed with construction workers (though, of course this obsession has never been mentioned on the show before), and when they show up on his doorstep, he describes the three sloppy, unshaven gentlemen (in his diary) as "glorious mythical creatures." Chris is eager to gain entry to their inner circle, but he can't seem to break the ice. Staring at them for hours doesn't work. Neither does asking inane questions like, "When were sinks invented?" Even his ventriloquist act doesn't get a rise out of them. Dressing like them, with a toy tool belt, merely brings on their ridicule. Then one day, while Chris is napping in their work area, a "blessed event" occurs that Chris sums up "in four sweet simple words -- Dick fell on me." After Chris breaks Dick's fall, the three embrace him, and teach him how to harass female passersby, while filling his head with tall tales of "late trailer payments, one-eyed prostitutes, and...tool belt fights." But when Chris hears that his beloved construction crew is ripping off his dear, sweet papa (Bob Elliott), he finds himself in need of spiritual guidance.