(1996)1.5Jeremy WheelerIf the plot of this stinker sounds ridiculous, that's because it is! Anytime you mix cyborgs and dinosaurs together and throw in a blatant Jean-Claude Van Damme rip-off as lead "actor" (Daniel Bernhardt), it's a recipe for disaster. From the extremely cheap sets to the hilarious prehistoric puppets, this baby reeks of low budget. In fact, the production team probably spent more on cardboard boxes than anything, since they turn up in almost every scene. In fact, there are a few scenes that are seriously just rows and rows of these suckers! It's like a car chase circa 1977. And how about those dinosaurs? Yes, they range in size in each scene...Yes, they're a mix between terrible stop-motion and hand puppets...And yes, they do explode when they die! So you've got cheesy dinosaurs (on leashes, no less), sets that could be mistaken for a ten-year-old's fort, and even some random shots of a spaceship (that is never used for anything and could possibly be swiped from another flick). So what else could you possibly add into the bunch? Yep, cyborgs -- with big mustaches and mullets! They're, of course, no match for our hero Bernhardt. Not only does this guy look like Van Damme, but he talks just like him too -- maybe even worse! With half his lines overdubbed, it's still hard to understand what the heck he's talking about. You'll find yourself rewinding a lot just to catch some of the nonsense being spewed out of this guy's mouth. No doubt, this is one messy flick, and if it weren't for the drawn-out ending, Future War would be a non-stop laugh riot. That said, it still ranks up there with some of the best straight-to-video schlock of the '90s. Be on the lookout, too, for a blatant cameo from famed sci-fi aficionado Forrest J. Ackerman as the innocent bystander who gets chomped by one of those horrific prehistoric beasties.
In this thrilling sci-fi tale, a high-kicking Runaway (Daniel Bernhardt) escapes from his space captors in the future and ends up in present-day Los Angeles, on the run from a slew of evil cyborgs ready to take him back. It seems that these moustachioed cyborgs have been abducting humans from the past and breeding them as slaves so they can do all their dirty work for them. Aided by exploding dinosaurs trained as trackers, our hero has no choice but hook up with ex-hooker nun Sister Ann (Travis Brooks Stewart) for help. With the help of a thuggish street gang and the feather-haired Police Captain Polaris (Ray Adash), Runaway and Ann rage a deadly war for freedom in this highly entertaining low-budget gem.