Synopsis by Josh Ralske
At a charity car wash organized by Chris (voice of Seth Green), Meg (voice of Mila Kunis), Stewie (voice of Seth MacFarlane), and Chris find a wallet containing some cash. Joe (voice of Patrick Warburton) tells the kids that they have to post a notice about the missing wallet and wait two weeks before they can claim it as their own. Suddenly, a thief grabs the wallet and runs off, sending Joe on a high-speed chase in his wheelchair. Joe manages to retrieve the wallet, but the thief escapes. Joe sinks into a deep depression. It's the first time he's ever "lost a perp," and he considers quitting the police force. Peter (MacFarlane) raises Joe's spirits by convincing Joe to compete in the "Special Peoples' Games" and training him for the decathlon. "Today we'll see some of Quahog's finest athletes struggle valiantly against God's twisted designs," announces Tom Tucker (MacFarlane) on the day of the event. When Joe begins to doubt his chances after falling behind, Peter makes an inspirational speech. "Did George W. Bush quit even after losing the popular vote? No. Did he quit after losing millions of dollars of his father's friends' money in failed oil companies? No. Did he quit after he got that DUI? No...." Determined to see his friend victorious, Peter steals some steroids from the pharmacy and "juices" Joe's water bottle. Their friendship grows strained, however, after Joe wins and becomes a national celebrity, and downplays Peter's contribution to his victory. Meanwhile, Meg, Stewie, and Chris grow increasingly paranoid about who gets to hold onto the wallet, eventually asking Brian (MacFarlane) to watch it for them. This episode features the voices of Tony Danza, Valerie Bertinelli, and Alex Rocco.