Synopsis by Jason Buchanan
The premier episode of Comedy Central's warped take on the after-school special introduces viewers to series protagonist Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris) as she attends a high school anti-drug rally. Recently released from jail and having lived the life of a teenage runaway for 32 years, 46-year-old Jerri has decided to clean up her act, move back home and re-enroll as a freshman at Flatpoint High. Announcing her upcoming party during Mr. Noblot's (Stephen Colbert) history class in a bid to win over the popular crowd, it seems that no one is interested and, to make matters worse, Mr. Noblot informs Jerri that, although it's only three days into the term, Jerri is in danger of failing his class. After Jerri is once again shot down in her bid to befriend popular Poppy Downs, her lone ally Orlando (Orlando Pabotoy) confides to her that her classmates are saying terrible things about her behind her back. Undaunted, Jerri seeks the advice of art teacher Mr. Jellineck (Paul Dinello), who insists that Jerri should, "go with what you know." Imbued with a newfound sense of confidence, Jerri runs into Poppy in the Girls' Room and offers to whip her up a primo batch of homemade Glint (a homemade narcotic made by mixing household chemicals and subsequently spreading the mixture on your lips). When Poppy takes a bit too much of Jerri's concoction the following day, her speed on the track impresses Coach Wolf (Sarah Thyre), though things take a bad turn when Poppy, believing herself to be a bumble-bee who must return to the hive, induces a coma while attempting to fly though a keyhole. Sneaking into the hospital that night to pull the plug on Poppy's life supports system lest she finger Jerri as her supplier, Jerri is relieved to learn that Poppy died earlier in the evening. As Principal Blackman (Greg Hollimon) rallies the students to discuss the tragedy and dedicate a time capsule to the fallen student, Jerri takes advantage of the situation by announcing a "Poppy Downs Memorial" party, to which the students eagerly respond. Kicking off the party by attempting to make out with Poppy's ex-boyfriend Brad, things soon go from bad to worse as Jerri realizes that she accidentally mixed the hot fruit in the same bowl she had used for the Glint.