Synopsis by Josh Ralske
On Quahog's annual Clam Day, Mayor Adam West (voice of Adam West) describes how the founder of Quahog was rescued at sea by a talking clam. Peter (voice of Seth MacFarlane) has the honor of playing the clam in a historical reenactment, and embarrasses his family. Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) is having a slumber party, and she's worried about further humiliation. Sure enough, Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) barges in to relive her girlhood memories, encouraging the girls to practice making out with each other, much to the delectation of Chris (voice of Seth Green), who is hiding behind the couch abusing himself. Peter comes downstairs in his underwear, crashes through the steps and gets stuck. Meg is so disgusted with her family's behavior that she blindsides them on a tabloid talk show, which ends in a chair-throwing melee. This catches the attention of a reality TV producer, who recruits them to star in a new show, "The Real Live Griffins." With the family under 24-hour surveillance, Meg's embarrassment reaches a new level. "Dad's on TV," Meg complains, "parading around in his underwear like some gross European guy." In desperation, Meg quits the show and moves in with the neighbors. The producers hire a hot blonde girl to replace her. Peter gets upset because the new "Meg" is hogging all the airtime. "Fire that sexy, interesting version of our daughter," he demands. This episode features the voices of Will Ferrell and Jay Mohr. There's a flashback of Peter embarrassing Meg in church which FOX originally cut from the pilot episode. It was restored on the DVD release, so it appears twice on the DVD.