review for Dreams of Thirteen on AllMovie

Dreams of Thirteen (1974)
by Sidney Jenkins review

Feature-length episode films are notoriously uneven, a weakness built into the form; just imagine the difficulty of bringing 10 or 15 directors together and achieving any level of consistency. But even with that in mind, this porno omnibus ventures to some wild qualitative extremes. It combines original work by two great filmmakers - Hollywood icon Nicholas Ray (!) and Yugoslavian maverick Dusan Makavejev - with creations by fringe underground directors such as the gonzo porn czar and medical experimenter Lasse Braun, and sexual illustrator Hans Kanters. Surprisingly, Ray and Makavejev botch the job, while several of the others turn in interesting work. The highlight of the package is the fourth short, "Contrasts" by Max Fischer - a series of surrealistic close-ups of nude bodies stimulating one another in a myriad of ways, filmed under super-slick '70s studio lighting. Though explicit enough to push the boundaries of softcore, the segment achieves delicate eroticism without ever striking one as particularly gross. Also fine is Geert Koolman's closer, "On a Sunday Afternoon" - an artful, slow-motion depiction of two lovers' bodies ascending and descending onto a bed, that easily checks in as the most oneiric contribution in the package. And director Lee Kraft helms an amusing sketch (the opener) that's essentially a dirty send-up of old Chaplin reels, about a horny plumber who has his way with the female residents of a local apartment house. As indicated, though, several of the other shorts aren't particularly memorable, and one - Nicholas Ray's court-metrage, "The Janitor" - is unfathomably wretched. Well into his 60s at the time, grizzled and wearing an eyepatch, Ray himself stars as a custodian who has delusions of being a preacher. As we cut away to these fantasies, we witness several female parishioners indulging him sexually, while a nearly incoherent voiceover plays on the soundtrack. It strikes one as not merely revolting, but completely inept. And it's genuinely depressing as well, given the fact that the director of Rebel without a Cause and In a Lonely Place spent time in his last decade turning out such garbage. Anyone who finds it difficult to understand how Ray sank to this level should, as one observer put it, "just imagine him being strung out on a hellbroth of drugs, and you'll start to get it." Ray completists and connoisseurs of cinematic weirdness may want to give this a look; others should save themselves the headache by fast-forwarding through this sketch and focusing on the surrounding material.